I realise that time has to be spent, not saved. Do you know what I mean? Enjoy every moment as it comes, take every minute as being precious. We inhibit our bodies but our bodies aren't ourselves. We possess them like a house - but only for a time. We're only visitors really on this earth and perhaps we do leave traces of ourselves in subtle ways. Life is repetitious in a sense, but it is far better to let it move calmly along without the storms it can sometimes throw at us. There are always those invisible, sometimes treacherous undercurrents that remain which can pull one under.

The joy, my depth of understanding and the reverence for life flows within myself. It gives me an insight to what we are, what we can achieve. It moves me forward into growth, towards not only self-knowledge but self improvement. It is not easy and it's a struggle to look at oneself to allow ones inner thoughts the freedom to expand. It's an acceptance of self and others. It's enjoying and appreciating the multifarious forms and phenomena of creation. Everything is held within ourselves. I have become aware of my own greater understanding of life around myself. I believe I understand and appreciate myself but I am left baffled. It often feels as if I am in a constant state of discovery. I feel whole as a person and in harmony with life. I still have a long way to go in my discovery of this inner being but a path has been shown.

God? I cannot tell what He is or what he is charged with. He is unimaginable to the normal sense - alien almost. To touch is to lose opacity though it is more than feeling and knowing. It is an awareness that cannot be described. Words and body do not exist in the normal sense. A moving within an unreal space which has no limits, no topography, walls or air, I can only describe it as non existence. A journey through a void, yet it is clear and definitive. To embrace, to touch, is to become One. I am as He is as I am. His every word revealed, His world reflected from within myself. It seems to come from far away, from forever. My mind unwinds, increasing, spreading, opening, until I can no longer grasp what I am for I am everything, for I am one with everything. Drifting, spiralling through His creation. I cannot reach its end nor understand for it has no beginning nor end.

How can I structure my words to help you understand. Sometimes, it seems nothing at all brings this inner most merging - it just happens. It meets the demands of my life, it restores my balance, gives me strength. It is unlimited, a forever expanding entity, one that most would repudiate because it is hostile to the abstract. The mind reveals little by little, step by step. Is it illusory? Imagination? How can I tell? Questions I ask myself. I cannot deny that it happens. I accept it for what it is. I cannot espouse philosophy, or religion or offer something to believe in or accept on faith. Our bodies are limited, but our minds are not, they can expand. It is ours to discover. It is impossible to imagine, existence beyond consideration, there, only there, is where the passage of time can become conceivable. Drawn from outside in - the foundation of the universe, of ourselves, creating, changing never ending, yet in some way static. I feel as if I stand on the edge of something great and immense yet I do not truly understand. My mind does not truly comprehend what it is. More than ever I begin to understand why God is infinite and in I sense I believe I understand the words "made in his image". His image that is reflected within ourselves as we are in Him.