(Or how to avoid summer's big bite - The story below was written by Kerry Cue on 21dec05 - just had to share it with you!)

WE Aussies are tough, but not in a wrestling-crocodiles-and-opening-beer-bottles-with-our-teeth kind of way.

We are tough because every summer we leave our suburban bunkers and venture into the great utdoors.
We might not venture far -- no further than, say, the cement-block barbie in the back yard.

But, still, we risk our lives as Australia boasts some of the most venomous and irritating biting beasties in the world.

And many live in our own back yards.

As if we Aussies didn't have enough worries already with our venomous snakes, spiders, fish, octopi and jellyfish.

Now we can add lizards to the list. Yes, lizards.

This year scientists at the Australian Venom Research Unit discovered many Aussie lizards have snake-like venom.

It may not be enough to kill you, but a lizard bite could certainly upset the rhythm of tossing the salad.

So you need some up-dated first-aid advice. You know, about snakebite.

The Red Cross recommends applying a pressure bandage, immobilising the limb and keeping the patient calm as you wait for the ambulance.

I'm not sure how you keep a patient calm with a 2m tiger snake hanging off their ankle.

Drop a copperhead in the middle of a yoga class and see how calm they remain.

However, the good news is that you don't have to kill the snake. It can be identified by its venom. There is also no need for tourniquets strangling a mate's vital bits and no more sucking venom out of a mate's dirty foot.

Most spider bites in Australia are not fatal unless, of course, you are driving a car or you are the member of my family who needs capsicum spray sedation at the mere sight of a daddy long legs.

The Red Cross recommends serious funnel-web type spider bites get the snakebite treatment. Lesser bites just need a pack of frozen peas and optimism like: "Nah, it wasn't a redback, mate. It was a sort of . . . ah . . . dunno."

But, don't panic. We now have the technology to ID arachnids.

This year British pub worker Matthew Stevens, 23, took a picture with his camera phone of the 13cm Brazilian wandering spider that bit him at work.

Matthew collapsed and was taken to hospital. The hospital faxed the pic to the Bristol Zoo and the anti-venom was delivered.

But can I offer two suggestions? If you do take a photo of the spider with your camera phone, tell the victim it is for medical purposes, not just to message your mates.

Then there is the european wasp, an aggressive buzzing, stinging beastie against which average Aussies are defenceless, not being able to defend themselves with a beer in one hand and a wilting paper plate in the other.

Wasps are attracted to sweet and fatty substances and to a wasp you look like a large well-dressed doughnut.

Bees on the other hand are attracted to hair spray, bright colours and perfume, so this summer sit some distance from your gaudily dressed and ageing aunt.

Apart from severe allergic, dial 000, reactions, the Red Cross recommends carefully removing the bee stinger and treating both bee and wasp stings with an icepack.

Mozzie, sandfly and ant bites are all acidic, so you can wash them with a weak solution of ammonia or carb soda.

If bitten by all three, just trim your fingernails and try not to think about it.

As for lizards, my 1969 St John Ambulance manual insists they can be detached by applying "a lighted match or cigarette to the mouth".

Theirs not yours, of course, but collecting 12 cigarette burns while detaching one lizard seems dumb.

I imagine simply jumping around like King Kong on speed would effectively detach a lizard. Then try frozen peas.

So, when you head into the outdoors this summer avoid bright clothes, perfume and eating sweet or fatty foods.

Use repellent. Watch out for creeping, crawling things. And try to relax and enjoy yourself.